Where Have I Been?

From my walk today through Arbor Lodge State Park. It was so beautiful and inspiring.

 Hello my amazing readers! Did you wonder why I have not written a blog in awhile? Did you think I have given up? HA! Given up...you must not know me very well if you thought that!

My role model and a very special and inspiring person in my life has once said that there are three parts to this journey. There is the fitness part, the healthy eating part, and there is the mental part. If you talk to even a few people who have been seriously overweight they will tell you that the mental part is the hardest. I also happen to agree with these people. Please imagine something for me. Imagine the person that you dislike most in your life. This person needs to be someone you strongly dislike and someone who makes your blood boil while simply thinking of their name. Now imagine doing something nice every day for this person, helping this person, and dealing closely with this person. The person I am talking about for myself is me. I am my own worst enemy and I really do not like myself let alone love myself. I have learned that I will not be able to accomplish my weight loss goals until I learn to love myself. I need to forgive myself. I need to let go of my past mistakes. I need to stop the negative self talk.

So this is where I have been. I have been off dealing with the demons in my head. I have been attempting to get my head straight. I have been admitting to myself that I have a very large problem, and yes, an addiction to food. Honestly I have had conversations with my husband about why struggling with obesity is such a silent and lonely struggle. I am confronted with multiple people every single day who tell me it is okay that I am overweight and it's "not that bad." No, it is bad and I am tired of people sweeping this issue under the rug. It is a huge problem for me and it is only going to become more detrimental to my health as the years go by. So I am doing what I can to stop this cycle. I don't want to put this burden on my kids and I want them to remember me as healthy and active and a person who loved life and brought out the best in everyone.

Please let me address the thought of "giving up," I am never going to give up. This is going to be a struggle my entire life. I am going to keep fighting and I am going to win this. I am going to deal with my emotions, and stop eating them, I am going to take time for myself and put myself first, I am never going to stop. Even when I get to my goal weight I will not stop, then the goal will be maintenance. There will be days, weeks, and even months that I might get off track but that does not mean anything to me. I will keep pushing on, I will improve, and I will do better. Thank you for choosing to follow along this incredible journey.

*I am a very lucky girl to have such a scenic place to take walks on. The Arbor Lodge State Park is absolutely enchanting especially this time of year. It was just what I needed to clear my head, fire me up with some motivation, and lift my spirits.*